Over 22 years of DJ anger expressed in a blog (Part 1)

I have been DJing now for over 22 years and i’m starting to turn into a grumpy old man so this is my vent.

To put it into perspective I have not ripped up tree’s but I have had some recognition and I think I regularly play out at a decent standard on the London Soul Scene and on a respected internet radio station (over 4 million listeners to the station a month).

I play generally with CD’s but occasionally with Vinyl

These are my opinions as you will see I try not to sit on any fences

1. Lets clear up an argument ” Laptop DJ’s are cheats” . If I had started DJing now i would be a laptop DJ, you use what is around at the time. Its how you use the technology that sets you apart. If someone challenged me to play on Reel to Reel’s the only thing that would definitely set us apart is that person is a better reel to reel DJ than me.

I hate this particular argument, the likes of Air thief and chief cunt “Paris Hilton” who pre programme  their sets so they can wave flags in diamond encrusted sponsored beats headphones that argument is very true regarding that particular waste of space (no pun intended) and oxygen. Go and see Henrik Schwarz who uses the Laptop to its Full potential and you will forget this petty argument. using this argument, lets get out the gramophones.

2. “That DJ Couldn’t play with Vinyl” a slight misconception most DJ’s even the bearded twat that is Guetta would have started somewhere. Which make Guetta’s all the more odious to think he once had taste. To be fair he would probably be typing his reply on a mac book instead of a 10 year old PC with windows XP (so in fact i’m probably just a jealous arse with a conscience who didn’t have the opportunity to make millions of pounds because i didn’t see the band wagon coming).

I saw this argument on the Southport weekender website regarding a prominent CD Playing DJ. Let me tell you the man to whom this was aimed at is a fucking genius and if inclined to revert to antiquity playing, would still wipe the floor with anyone.

What you play the music on doesn’t make the night, its what you play for fucks sake.

With an exception to the northern Soul/crossover scene where the whole history and culture is based around the rarity and exclusivity of records (in fairness right from its inception)

3.  “Vinyl is better than Digital Download” There is something very warming about flicking your fingers through a vertically arranged stack of vinyl,someone somewhere has just got a hard on or a slight knicker twinge (or both at the same time not forgetting my hermaphrodite sisters)

The difference with Vinyl is that it is tangible and warm and not throw away and expendable. I can probably tell you where i bought every bit of Vinyl in my collection, how i found it and where i heard it first. Vinyl is expensive to the youth of today who in majority get their music free from pirate sites, play it through spotify and convert from youtube.

Over the years I have embraced Digital downloads through necessity although the control of vinyl experience has been enhanced by the development of CDJ’s .

I have always paid (unless its sent as a promo) for my digital music because I need better quality to enhance what i do and for my listening pleasure.

I recently had an argument with someone on Facebook who said ” I have 22,000 MP3’s on my computer” my reply came “when was the last time you played them all”

Music has become so freely accessible that it has become throw away and I think it has been done like this by design.

Consumerism has taken over what should be spiritually beautiful for your soul. you only have to look at the devil’s cock sucker (allegedly) Simon Cowel to feel revulsion and the need to pick up a heavy object to wipe that smug grin off his botoxed face (i won’t do it really, although I might if I was given two weeks to live whilst working in a small arms factory). there is no room in the charts for the next Rolling Stones, Pixies or Velvet underground because kids are been brainwashed through the media (all formats) to look to Rhianna or Kuntye West for inspiration. everything is being homogenized.

The Grand Master Cowel even tried to do a DJ Talent program (which probably still hasn’t been shelved i’d imagine) what are they going to base it on cunt playing pre programmed set week,  who can bounce up and down like a gormless twat week or who can get cowels name into a mix the most week, fuck off and leave us alone you parasites. its the last bastion of the working classes weekly enjoyment.upload

Stop Using Celebrities as DJ’s unless they are genuinely in it for the music and not the money The reason I went off on one today is because I saw Kardshian has just landed a major deal to play a residency in Ibiza. Ibiza for me is the one place where i expected the spirit of our scene and history not to capitulate. Who except a bunch of brainless clueless kids will go to see this vacuous already rich parasite elitist Kunt play a pre programmed pile of shit meaninless shit that is heavy on the bass and drops so she can wave her hands in the air like the queen, at a Coked/ketamined/E’d up surly bunch of adolescents who’s sum total of memory of her set will be that her self proclaimed king of Kunt Kuntye, husband pushed a paraplegic of stage because they questioned his use of a vocoder and wouldn’t kneel in apology. promoters claim back the decks stop using the Danny Dyers of this world who sum understanding of a tune is “its like London Garage and that innit”  May I suggest Martin Freeman (hobbit king) who has good taste, Orlando Bloom or even steve davis (radio only). Alternatively use someone who has a passion, who loves music , who can mix or who can read a crowd preferably all 4.

Part 2 coming soon

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4 thoughts on “Over 22 years of DJ anger expressed in a blog (Part 1)

  1. Pingback: Over 22 years of DJ anger expressed in a blog (Part 1) | Hold Tight Soul Disco Funk Boogie

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